two years has gone by ......

above: Janine took this image of Oscar on 7th Oct 2006

memories of Oscar

our very special little boy

28 March 1998 - 23 May 2012


We lost a special friend today
the kind you can't replace,
and looking at his empty bed
We still can see his smiling face.

  We see the endless energy
the sparkling puppy eyes,
Not the tired, fragile friend
we had to bid goodbye.

  We know he's in a special place
our Lord has for such friends,
Where meadows, fields & flowers
help make them strong and whole again.

We will remember how he'd run to us
to play his favorite puppy game,
And how his ears would perk right up
When he heard us call his name.

But as those precious years went by
And we all aged and grew,
  we found him often slowing down
But we had still so much to do.

We have noticed in the recent times
His ears were not as sharp,
Where is that running ball of fur
The years have shown their mark.

He started sleeping next to us
Was this his special clue,
Because he felt the end was near
We certainly feel that it was very true

  Our Oscar was a special boy
  We know he gave his best,
But as we looked deep into his eyes
  we knew it was the time for him to rest.

It will truly be a struggle
  we don't know how we will face each day,
  we have to let him go - we know
But in our hearts he'll always stay.

This special place our Lord has made
Health and strength, wait for him there,
So with our very special friend
  we are sending all our prayers.

For we  know he's watching over us
and he'll be with us when we cry,
So with one more kiss on his beloved head
  we told our darling boy 

goodbye.

the above is very much the same I wrote out for Zac and also for Pokey.

above: when Oscar was just a tiny little puppy

 

Oscars brother – Pokey - was born in January 1997. 

Then in March 1998, along came Oscar. But sadly 5 days after he and his 3 siblings were born, their mother – Sugar - passed away.

Oscar was 55 grams in weight ....that is the weight of one medium sized egg!
 

These four little five day old puppies ......  what to do? Even the Vet said they would not survive.  

But with the love and care devoted upon them, they survived ... each and everyone of them.

Yes, Oscar is a fighter, his true name is Sugar Ray Robinson (one of the great boxers of all time [1921-1989]) and as with all four puppies, they were named after a famous 'fighter'.

In 2002 we took Oscar and Pokey on a 12 mths holiday traveling all over Australia.

above: in 2002, he used Pokey when he needed some extra height  to see outside the motorhome!

  

In 2005 he had an eye infection and had to have major surgery to have the lens replaced in his eye.

In 2007 both Pokey and Oscar flew to Singapore.

In 2009 he pulled one of his nails out when it caught in his collar, more surgery!

In 2011 Oscar lost his brother Pokey (7th July) and he grieved more than we thought was possible.

Two weeks later we took him to the vet and he was diagnosed with Pituitary Dependent Hyperadrenocorticism. (Cushings Disease) and a month later they found he also had Congestive Heart Failure.

He started off on his medication twice a day, but over the past month it was increased to three times a day. 

In December 2011 we applied for a permit for his re entry into Australia and this was declined due to his health and age.

We wrote a long letter to AQIS (Australian Quarantine) explaining a bit more about Oscar and that he was a fighter and that he would survive the flight, but could possibly struggle with the 30 days of Quarantine. But we were willing to take the risk as we felt he would be OK.

30 minutes later, we rec'd the permit and he was allowed to return to Australia!

He left Singapore on 21st February 2012 and arrived the following morning at the AQIS station in Spotswood where he stayed for the full 30 days.

above: running around while in Quarantine at Spotswood.

 

above: with John when he was in Quarantine

He was very happy to be back with us and settled in very well. We knew we wouldn't have him forever and the vet thought he might survive till mid April .... but we managed to have him for a full two months at home.

We brought him home to Ballan on 23 March 2012.

above: in April 2012 he got to go to Blackwood again where he used to chase lizards 

with his brother Pokey.

One of his favourite things to do was "get in the car". It was such a novelty for him to be able to travel around and he loved it. The minute we picked up the keys, he was waiting at the front door!

On Sunday (20 May 2012) he was chasing the Magpies outside, on Monday (21 May) he traveled with us in the car to Bendigo for the day. On Monday evening his breathing became erratic and through the course of the night we realised his time was coming to an end.

above: photo taken at 12 noon on 22 May 2012 (18 hours before he passed away) as he lay in the 

lounge room in the sunshine

On the Tuesday (22 May 2012)  he really struggled with his breathing, one minute hyperventilating and the next 'shallow breathing'. I was too selfish to take him to the vet after what we went though with Pokey, but at 3.15am the following morning while I was nursing him in the lounge ..... I knew we had no choice but to call the vet as soon as we got up.

We took him back to bed with us and we held him till he closed his eyes at 6:10am on 23rd May 2013.

Letting him go was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, unbearably difficult.

He was a special friend I will never forget. 

I know we were blessed to have had him for so long, possibly more than his fair share of life expectancy.

above: John took this photo - Tuesday 22 May 2012

Rest in Peace Oscar 

(Sugar Ray Robinson), 

you fought the good fight right till the end.

we all loved you so much

you were one very special little dog

there will never be another like you.


its now been two years since our little man left us 

and we can honestly say, we miss him every single day.
 

He did leave a huge hole in our hearts 

and life will never be the same again.
23 May 2014

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.

 

Beautiful advice from a divorced man after 16 years of marriage!

My advice after a divorce following 16 years of marriage,
by Gerald Rogers.

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different…

After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had.

1. Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2. Protect your own heart. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3. Fall in love over and over again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4. Always see the best in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5. It’s not your job to change or fix her… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

6. Take full accountability for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7. Never blame your wife if you get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

8. Allow your woman to just be. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9. Be silly… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10. Fill her soul everyday… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

11. Be present. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12. Be willing to take her sexually, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13. Don’t be an idiot…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14. Give her space… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15. Be vulnerable… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16. Be fully transparent. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17. Never stop growing together… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18. Don’t worry about money. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19. Forgive immediately and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20. Always choose love. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end marriage isn’t about happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come. Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late. But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I loved being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE:

Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from. Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.



I saw the above on Facebook today and thought it worth sharing ...

Thank you Gerald Rogers.